The Name Says it All

By | November 22, 2005

For this to work, these people will have to be complete idiots. For example, won’t it occur to any of them to wonder why they aren’t, like — you know — weightless for crying out loud?

Oh, wait. They’ve got it covered:

The one thing the programme-makers will not be able to simulate, of course, is microgravity. Instead, the crew will be told that they will be soaring to an altitude of some 100 kilometres, which is enough to qualify for astronaut status, but not to induce weightlessness.

Sadly, there is no shortage of people who would fall for that. There are way too many of us who think that astronauts are weightless because “there’s no gravity” up there. Once you get past the atmosphere and you’re in space, you’re weightless! So these geniuses are going to think that this spacecraft they’re on is going to be flying around at 100 Km out for five days. Won’t that take a lot of fuel?

No, they won’t need fuel because the spacecraft will be in orbit. It will just be such a low orbit that they won’t be weightless. Makes sense. Or maybe it’s just a really slow orbit. I wonder if they’ll have a near fly-by with Mars? A lot can happen when you’re in space.

When the hatch comes open, the victims of the prank are going to be surprised, but maybe not the way the creators of the show think. Ten bucks says that at least one of them exclaims:

“Mother! What are you doing out here in space?”