Just as Likely

By | August 19, 2011

So the aliens might wipe us out because of our carbon emissions?

I don’t think these NASA scientists have considered how risky and untenable our position truly is. Carbon emissions are just one good reason aliens might wipe us out. Consider a few others:

  1. Our inadequate city planning
  2. Our atrocious table manners
  3. Our lack of antennae, gills, forehead ridges, or other arbitrary alien facial features that their sci-fi shows insist we ought to have
  4. Our blasphemous refusal to bow down Zobador, Crustacean Lord of the Universe
  5. American Idol
  6. Our too-frequent tendency to end sentences with “you know?”
  7. Our color pollution of the planet (e.g., they might really hate purple)

I’m sure there are lots of other equally likely reasons. Can you name some?