Comments on: The Council, #5 https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html Live to see it. Thu, 16 Dec 2021 08:21:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.6.1 By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8510 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:33:54 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8510 “…a reasonable safety measure to frustrate hackers without causing significant functional loss for the train operators.”

This is a personal hobbyhorse, but please consider using the term “crackers” instead of “hackers”. You’ll be a geek hero! If you don’t want to change the term, please consider adding the modifier “black-hat” to “hackers”. Please.

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8509 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:25:08 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8509 “He considered the loss, and found that it was, in fact, gain.”

This is not ungrammatical, but I think it is a bit awkward. Consider:

“He considered the loss, and found that it was, in fact, a gain.”

Or:

“He considered his loss, and found that it was, in fact, his gain.”

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8508 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:22:08 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8508 “To read the QERES, Colter needed the passfile.”

I think there’s an extra “E” here.

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8507 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:20:32 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8507 “QERS’s were the robot equivalent of reading one’s obituary.”

I think that’s meant to be a plural, but the apostrophe makes it a possesive. I know “QERSes” probably looks odd, but it is correct.

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8506 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:15:30 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8506 “That’s what Patricia said o explain her sadness after her parents died…”

Maybe:

“That’s what Patricia said to explain her sadness after her parents died…”

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8505 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:13:19 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8505 “That’s all she needed.”

I think we have a verb tense problem here. “That’s all she needed.” is equivalent to “That is all she needed.” That “is” is the only instance of present tense in this whole chapter. Consider changing it to “That was all she needed.”

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8504 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:04:00 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8504 “The Lyra shell reached a car where free of police robots.”

???

]]> By: Virginia Warren https://blog.speculist.com/transhumanism/the-council-5.html#comment-8503 Virginia Warren Mon, 20 Sep 2004 12:02:44 +0000 http://localhost/specblog/?p=64#comment-8503 “His attention was drawn to the car where the Lyra robot, now reduced her shell functions, was submitting to a police robot’s invasive scrutiny.”

Maybe:

“… now reduced to her shell functions…”

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